Barriers to Change

We all change throughout our lives either by design or fault.  We develop and grow as we go through our ages and during our lives experiences bring events that can have significant impacts.

This kind of change will happen subconsciously and without any planning or forethought.  That’s not to say we don’t have any choice, we may not be able to control the circumstances but we can make choices how we choose to respond, learn, process the event.

The change that seems to be the most challenging to bring about is the change that we consciously decide to make.  It’s often a behaviour – a way of eating, thinking, reacting.

We can start off with good intentions, have a goal in mind, spend money to achieve it, plan the first few steps and then it tends to dissipate.  It becomes too hard, too costly, too time consuming so it’s easier to just let it drift and to try again another time.

So what are the barriers that get in the way?

Values

Is your desire to change truly important to you?  Change is more likely to occur when you really know why it is important – 90% of success is knowing why it is important, 10% is knowing how to go about achieving it. The importance goes beyond material gains and links into your values.  Values are what motivate, they are part of the essence of who we are, what connects us to others.  They are our hidden priorities.

Here are some examples of values:-

Love, peace, wealth, success, adventure, fun, happiness, security, intimacy, autonomy, altruism.

If your goal of change doesn’t link in with your values then it is more likely not to be achieved.

Motivation

Truly how motivated are you to succeed – a 100% or about 75%? Again the degree of motivation will be reinforced by knowing why this is important to you and what you will gain/have/receive/feel from the end result.

However you need to use the best motivating strategy for yourself.  Are you somebody that sees the end goal, plans the steps in between and then heads off in that direction – the TOWARDS motivation?

Or do you wait until it becomes so uncomfortable before you take action, the AWAY motivation?  Neither is better than the other, you just need to know what works for you.  Look back on past experiences of achievement and identify the key aspects that made it possible and apply them again.

Internal Thoughts

In the book Shine by Andy Cope and Gavin Oates they talk about your inner Jeeves.  A faithful servant, who has been with you for many years, knows you very well and has only your wellbeing in mind.  Your inner Jeeves believes that any change from your norm is just another “New Year’s resolution” that will be broken in a few day and then you can get back to normal again.  These are your own inner thoughts and beliefs that very happily get you back to your status quo.

So with three major hurdles to overcome, it is a challenge, hard work, personal effort to make the significant changes you so desire – however the starting point is  awareness and insight.

Take time to recognise and acknowledge these barriers and in the next blog I show you how you can maximise your success.  Or in the meantime book a complimentary Insight session to discuss your own challenges to change.

Inner strength

Maintaining Inner Strength

Inner strength, just like muscular strength, needs to be maintained otherwise it goes flabby!

Last month’s blog was about finding our inner strength, so once found, it is important that we keep it strong.  There is no special formula or unique regime to keep our strength strong but it does require awareness, motivation and persistence.

Just as our bodies need exercise so we can also use physical exercise to maintain inner wellbeing. If we are able to appreciate what our body does for us, give it good nourishing food and exercise in whatever form, then we are likely to feel stronger in ourselves. This in turn allows us to cope better with any stress that comes our way.  Get in touch with your body – how does it feel, what is it saying to you, what does it need?  Listen to your body, be aware of it and support the inner and outer strength.

Feeling connected within yourself also means being connected with what is around you, with your environment.  None of us are an island and although we may need or crave time on our own we also need people in our lives.  To boost our inner strength those people need to be supportive, encouraging, fun, motivating, non-judgemental, compassionate and forgiving.  When others feel good, we feel good and vice versa.  Surround yourself in the energy that gives you hope, understanding and contentment.

Our physical environments are also a crucial aspect of our inner health.  Do you live /work in places that make you feel good? Do you enjoy the atmosphere? Are you comfortable within your surroundings that you can relax and totally be yourself?  Could your home do with fresh energy coming in? You can find out more about enhancing environmental energy in this blog.

What else maintains your inner strength? How you fill in your time impacts upon health.  The spare time that you have, are you spending it in activities and with people that make you feel happy?  Hobbies and interests will add to your self-esteem and enhance your sense of identity.  Maybe it is time to bring in new interests and let go of others – choose ones that make you feel joyous.

Then in between work, people, hobbies and exercising find a place of calmness! Allow time just to be, no expectations, no worries, just you and your breath.  The stillness you gain reinforces the core strength within you, reminding you of the essence of who you are and what you are capable of.

Maintaining your inner strength is a lifelong process. First be aware of it, bring it to the fore and then nurture it so you can call upon it whenever you need to.