We all change throughout our lives either by design or fault. We develop and grow as we go through our ages and during our lives experiences bring events that can have significant impacts.
This kind of change will happen subconsciously and without any planning or forethought. That’s not to say we don’t have any choice, we may not be able to control the circumstances but we can make choices how we choose to respond, learn, process the event.
The change that seems to be the most challenging to bring about is the change that we consciously decide to make. It’s often a behaviour – a way of eating, thinking, reacting.
We can start off with good intentions, have a goal in mind, spend money to achieve it, plan the first few steps and then it tends to dissipate. It becomes too hard, too costly, too time consuming so it’s easier to just let it drift and to try again another time.
So what are the barriers that get in the way?
Is your desire to change truly important to you? Change is more likely to occur when you really know why it is important – 90% of success is knowing why it is important, 10% is knowing how to go about achieving it. The importance goes beyond material gains and links into your values. Values are what motivate, they are part of the essence of who we are, what connects us to others. They are our hidden priorities.
Here are some examples of values:-
Love, peace, wealth, success, adventure, fun, happiness, security, intimacy, autonomy, altruism.
If your goal of change doesn’t link in with your values then it is more likely not to be achieved.
Truly how motivated are you to succeed – a 100% or about 75%? Again the degree of motivation will be reinforced by knowing why this is important to you and what you will gain/have/receive/feel from the end result.
However you need to use the best motivating strategy for yourself. Are you somebody that sees the end goal, plans the steps in between and then heads off in that direction – the TOWARDS motivation?
Or do you wait until it becomes so uncomfortable before you take action, the AWAY motivation? Neither is better than the other, you just need to know what works for you. Look back on past experiences of achievement and identify the key aspects that made it possible and apply them again.
In the book Shine by Andy Cope and Gavin Oates they talk about your inner Jeeves. A faithful servant, who has been with you for many years, knows you very well and has only your wellbeing in mind. Your inner Jeeves believes that any change from your norm is just another “New Year’s resolution” that will be broken in a few day and then you can get back to normal again. These are your own inner thoughts and beliefs that very happily get you back to your status quo.
So with three major hurdles to overcome, it is a challenge, hard work, personal effort to make the significant changes you so desire – however the starting point is awareness and insight.
Take time to recognise and acknowledge these barriers and in the next blog I show you how you can maximise your success. Or in the meantime book a complimentary Insight session to discuss your own challenges to change.