Reflection, time to reflect upon the year

Time to Reflect

Last month of the year! Do you give yourself time to reflect on what has been?  Reflection is a key aspect of learning and personal development.  It’s so easy to forget or ignore what we have done, or just take things for granted but we miss out on giving ourselves credit, appreciating our memories or learning from our mistakes. 

Maybe you have just allowed life to lead you or maybe you have taken charge and created your own changes?  Whatever the case, 12 months has gone by and stuff has happened! It can be really helpful to sit quietly and go back through the year appreciating what has happened, learning from mistakes, reminiscing and reliving beautiful memories.  If we don’t, then it’s just gone and we haven’t got any wiser and certainly no younger! 

As a suggestion you may like to reflect upon these questions as a way of appreciation and gratitude of the past year.

  • Write down 4 things that you are proud of this year
  • What has been your “biggest” achievement?
  • What one thing would you do differently?
  • Visualise one of your happiest memories from this year – how does it make you feel, what can you see and hear?
  • What’s the best piece of advice you can pass onto someone from your experiences this year? 

Give yourself a huge pat on the back for being you, for dealing with whatever has come up this year and for having insight and awareness to take you into next year.

If you come across an issue that you feel stuck on and would like support with, don’t forget you can book in for a variety of interventions that may get you further on than you are now. If you are not sure what would be of help, book a complimentary Insight session to discuss this further.

Change – getting on track

Change – the important bits to succeed!

In the last blog we talked about some of the major blocks that can easily get in the way of making the changes we want.

When we want to add or take away something in our lives it requires persistence, determination, consistency and a deep sense of knowing why this is important to you.  We also need a willingness to welcome failure as a way of learning.  All “successful” people have some time or another failed and it is what they have learnt from the experience that has made them succeed.  As the saying goes – “there is no such thing as failure, only feedback” and failure is only as you perceive it.

Here are some of my ways of bringing about change:-

  • Focus on what you will be gaining – what will you feel/be/have and what impact will that have on your life?  Write down how this change will benefit you in everyday life eg be able to play in the park with  children/grandchildren,  lose weight to have enough energy to walk to work, save x amount a month in order to go on holiday next year etc
  • Write your goal down or make a picture of it and put it somewhere where you can see it everyday. 
  • Don’t just think or decide how you want things differently – start doing it.  It is so easy to live your life in your head but change will only happen if you do something different.
  • It’s been said many times but make change happen with small and achievable steps.  Even if   doing that change is just for that hour or day – you have gone forward.  Build on your steps, recognise your effort, chart your progress and always keep in mind what you are gaining.
  • Let go of old hurts as the world has already moved on “When you forgive, you no way change the past – but you sure do change the future” A Cope & G Oates
  • Choose your attitude towards change – see it as a challenge, interesting rather than hard work, difficult. The language you use will affect your mood and approach.
  • What strategies have worked in the past when you have brought about change in your life? – employ them again. 
  • Share what you want to happen with others and ask for their help in supporting steps towards achievement.  This is the main one that works for me as the more I talk about it the harder it is for me to give up – pride takes over!
  • Act the person you want to be. The saying “fake it till you make it” helps to imprint into your physiology how you feel, stand, walk, talk – you become comfortable with this new way of being and will attract into your life what you need to achieve your aim.
  • Remind yourself and answer these four powerful questions to keep you on track.
  • Turn  obstacles into problems to be solved rather than seeing them as an excuse to give up.

Whatever strategies you use, keep going, be flexible, adapt and have a firm belief in yourself  – you know what difference it will make to your life.  If you need a bit of a support or “push” to get you going, you are welcome to book an Insight session with me.

Barriers to Change

We all change throughout our lives either by design or fault.  We develop and grow as we go through our ages and during our lives experiences bring events that can have significant impacts.

This kind of change will happen subconsciously and without any planning or forethought.  That’s not to say we don’t have any choice, we may not be able to control the circumstances but we can make choices how we choose to respond, learn, process the event.

The change that seems to be the most challenging to bring about is the change that we consciously decide to make.  It’s often a behaviour – a way of eating, thinking, reacting.

We can start off with good intentions, have a goal in mind, spend money to achieve it, plan the first few steps and then it tends to dissipate.  It becomes too hard, too costly, too time consuming so it’s easier to just let it drift and to try again another time.

So what are the barriers that get in the way?

Values

Is your desire to change truly important to you?  Change is more likely to occur when you really know why it is important – 90% of success is knowing why it is important, 10% is knowing how to go about achieving it. The importance goes beyond material gains and links into your values.  Values are what motivate, they are part of the essence of who we are, what connects us to others.  They are our hidden priorities.

Here are some examples of values:-

Love, peace, wealth, success, adventure, fun, happiness, security, intimacy, autonomy, altruism.

If your goal of change doesn’t link in with your values then it is more likely not to be achieved.

Motivation

Truly how motivated are you to succeed – a 100% or about 75%? Again the degree of motivation will be reinforced by knowing why this is important to you and what you will gain/have/receive/feel from the end result.

However you need to use the best motivating strategy for yourself.  Are you somebody that sees the end goal, plans the steps in between and then heads off in that direction – the TOWARDS motivation?

Or do you wait until it becomes so uncomfortable before you take action, the AWAY motivation?  Neither is better than the other, you just need to know what works for you.  Look back on past experiences of achievement and identify the key aspects that made it possible and apply them again.

Internal Thoughts

In the book Shine by Andy Cope and Gavin Oates they talk about your inner Jeeves.  A faithful servant, who has been with you for many years, knows you very well and has only your wellbeing in mind.  Your inner Jeeves believes that any change from your norm is just another “New Year’s resolution” that will be broken in a few day and then you can get back to normal again.  These are your own inner thoughts and beliefs that very happily get you back to your status quo.

So with three major hurdles to overcome, it is a challenge, hard work, personal effort to make the significant changes you so desire – however the starting point is  awareness and insight.

Take time to recognise and acknowledge these barriers and in the next blog I show you how you can maximise your success.  Or in the meantime book a complimentary Insight session to discuss your own challenges to change.