Dramas and energy

Managing Dramas!

Dramas!  I expect we all have enough of them in our lives but it is the insidious, perpetual ones that can exhaust us and alter our own behaviour.  I recently re-read The Celestine Prophecy by James Refield , the sixth insight struck home about the control dramas that each of us have developed since childhood.

According to the book there are four types of control dramas and they all have a way of taking away energy from others.

Intimidator – aggressive behaviour, threatening physically or verbally, and the other person is forced to pay attention to them and so give energy.

Interrogator – asking questions and probing into the other person’s world in order to find fault or criticize.  The other person can then feel more wary or self-conscious thus giving their energy away to the “interrogator”.

Aloof – this is when the person creates a mystery or silence around them in order to get others to guess or search out how they are feeling.  The more they remain vague or non-communicative the more others are drawn into their energy to seek out what is going on.

Poor Me – when that person constantly focuses on everything that is horrible  happening to them, when nothing right happens for them.  This can have the effect of others somehow feeling responsible for this, feeling guilty thus once again giving away energy to them.

These behaviours have been described in many different ways such as assertive/aggressive/ passive or in parent/adult/child terms.

How we develop our own control dramas is often a result of our parents control dramas so an “Intimidator” can result in a “Poor Me” and an “Interrogator” in someone being aloof.

Equally aloof dramas can create an interrogator behaviour and a poor me approach can also result in an explosion into intimidator.

So how do we deal with these control dramas? As with most things, first of all be aware that it is happening and then, if appropriate reflect back to them what is happening.   For example:  “Rather than me guessing about X why don’t you tell me?” (Aloof)  “I realise that X has happened to you but I’m not responsible for it” (Poor Me).

The key approach after this is to send or treat the person, from your own place of energy and strength, with kindness and compassion, understand where they are coming from.  I realise that is not necessarily an easy thing to do but by changing the energy between the two parties you manage to retain your own energy and sense of self-worth whilst, hopefully, affecting the others person’s energy state into one of calmness, peace and compassion.

“We humans have always sought to increase our personal energy in the only manner we have known, by seeking to psychologically steal it from the others–an unconscious competition that underlies all human conflict in the world.” ― James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

Tapping or EFT

Tapping as a Self-Help Tool

Tapping or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a gentle, non-invasive and effective way to bring down intensity of emotions.  It has been used since the 1970s and more research is being done on this intervention indicating the effect it has on the brain and body.  As it is easy to learn and apply it can be an incredibly powerful technique that once learnt can be applied to almost anything and anywhere.

The basic theory behind EFT or Tapping is that all negative emotions are a result of disruption to the body’s energy system.  So by tapping on these energy systems, Meridians, the energy is re-adjusted and restored to bring about a different emotional state, reduced pain and a change of perspective on beliefs and thoughts.

EFT works on the emotional cause of such issues as:-

Pain, depression, anxiety, phobias, post traumatic stress disorder, panic, confidence issues, weight loss and cravings, stress, headaches, self-esteem to name just a few!

A part of the brain, the amygdala, is our alarm detector and any stressful, distressing emotion or thought triggers this alarm off to release such hormones as adrenaline and cortisol, keeping the body on fight/flight alert even with low grade persistent stress.  This can also link back into long term memories which continue to raise the intensity of emotion.

So by tapping on certain points the brain starts to relearn that although the thought/memory/emotion is distressing the alarm system starts to switch off as it is no longer feeling threatened.

A good example is post traumatic stress disorder where after Tapping is applied, the memory of the event remains but the emotion that was attached to it is no longer intense – it has reduced or completely disappeared.

Once you learn where and how to tap you can tap on symptoms such as pain, headaches, muscular tension.  You can tap on emotions such as anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, grief.  You can tap on an actually event such as going to the dentist, speaking to new people, public speaking and you can also tap on the limiting beliefs that underlie perceptions about ourselves and memories from childhood that have formed those beliefs.

There are many good examples of using Tapping on the internet such as The Tapping Solution and EFT Universe.

If you would like more information about how to use Tapping please feel free to contact me.

tuning into our bodies

Tuning in to our Bodies

Our bodies are truly amazing and by tuning into our bodies it can help us in so many ways.  Our bodies are energy, parts of which regenerate continually so our body is not the same one we had a year ago.

According to Deepak Chopra how we live and relate to our bodies is based on our underlying beliefs about it.  Your body has unlimited potential and when you choose to consciously change your assumptions about it then change is manifested through our physical being.  Every day we can be exposed to a range of energy from others and the environment we inhabit.  Everything within our environment has an unseen energy that impacts upon our wellbeing and health.

By tuning into our bodies we are given a range of information that can support balance and harmony within.

An exercise that I have used many times with students both within Reiki and Neuro-lingusitic programming (NLP), is to stand still and ask your body to show you what “yes” is.  Notice how your body moves and in which direction.  Then do the same and ask your body to show” no” and again notice how it moves.

Once you have established how your body reacts to these responses you can then ask it many things.  If you want to know whether a certain food is good for you, hold the food or a picture of it in your hand and ask your body “do I need this food today?” and be aware of the yes or no response.  This is your body’s answer to go with or ignore! I use it to ask which crystals I would benefit from that day.  You may notice that the body stays still and that can relate to a maybe or it doesn’t matter response.

For placing items, ornaments, pictures around the home hold the item and ask if it is best placed in the south, west, east or north direction.

Ideally ask the body a question that has a yes or no answer and then be guided by the response.

Our gut instinct, the energy within, the communication of our bodies is a wonderfully gift that we all have the ability to pay attention to and appreciate.

So why not make the most of our truly wonderfully physical being and engage in subtle communication to bring harmony and wellbeing into our lives.

Fresh energy

Bringing In Fresh Energy

Energy is constantly around us – from our environment, from others and from ourselves.  We may be good at looking after ourselves through exercise, healthy food but how often we do think about the energy within our homes?  As the months get warmer we may do a bit of Spring cleaning which means cleaning and hovering, dusting and de-cluttering.  However, how often do we continue to “clean” our homes by cleansing the energy within them throughout the year?

Energy within rooms of the house can become stagnant and stale.  Have you ever had the experience  of walking into a house or room and it just feel uncomfortable although you may not know why? It can be because the air and atmosphere has become stuck, it is unable to circulate freely, so every now and then, in your own home, set the intention to bring in new, fresh healing energy.  We can do this in a variety of ways and here are some suggestions:-

  • Start with the intention in your mind of clearing away stale negative energy and replace with new, fresh healing energy
  • Clap your hands within each corner of a room
  • Use a singing bowl or chimes to create vibration
  • Positions crystals in strategies places, remembering to clean your crystals first
  • Smudge each room using Sage or Palo Santo
  • Hum or sing to increase vibration into the room
  • De-mist using water and a few drops of aromatherapy oils
  • Bring light into dark corners with lamps or candles
  • Rearrange your furniture so the energy can move freely
  • Create a through draught by opening windows and doors
  • Add flowers and houseplant
  • Play loud music and dance
  • Clean windows inside and out to attract light through them

Each season can be a great reminder to freshen up each room.  Do you have any other suggestions?

Time to look after ourselves

A Little Time for Yourself

How much time do you spend looking after yourself?

We can all do with a bit of “me” time to ensure that we are feeling at our best.  How much time do we need to get ourselves back on top form and how do we do that?

There are many ways to look after ourselves and we know that exercise and diet play a crucial part in this. However our minds and our spiritual wellbeing also need a boost to enhance wellbeing and there are a variety of ways that will help.

Reiki self healing

If you practice Reiki then just a few minutes a day, connecting with energy, balancing chakras or giving yourself Reiki can set you up for the day ahead.  It may be 5 minutes or upto an hour – the key thing is to fit it into your lifestyle rather than not to do any at all.  Whilst sitting in a traffic jam or waiting outside the school gates can be a great opportunity to connect and intend Reiki to flow into you.  No need to set up the environment, just be – bring in an awareness of resonating  with energy within you and allow it to expand, be the energy and connect with healing light.

Mindfulness

You may wish to learn Mindfulness in a group setting or just apply the principles as a way to self-heal and look after yourself.  Mindfulness encourages you to be totally aware of your body and mind, to be in the present moment.  It is very easy to be in our thoughts and to almost live our lives in our heads rather than through the reality of the moment.  This website explains how you can start being mindful and improve your overall health.

Relaxation

How you relax can take many forms with the purpose of allowing the body and mind to switch off and to slow down.  You may wish to use a relaxation CD along with a guided relaxation which is a great way to switch your focus away from busy thoughts.  Relaxation may be having a bath rather than a shower or spending time reading or doing a crossword.  Whatever type of relaxation you do ensure that you are doing it on a regular basis, at least weekly if not daily.

Nature

There is a lot of research indicating that using nature can greatly enhance wellbeing both physically and mentally.  Just being outside for 5 minutes can lower blood pressure and if you combine it with using all your senses the overall effect is one of total immersion in the present moment.  Take your time to see colours and shapes, tune into background and foreground noise, sense what you can feel, be aware of smells and if you are feeling brave taste some of the foliage (please make sure you know it is safe to do so)!  Use the healing effect of Nature through gardening or walking.  If you don’t have a garden indoor houseplants or growing windowsill seeds will also be of benefit to you.  Nature is free and all around us so make the most of it to boost your health.

 

Whatever methods you employ don’t ever forget to look after yourself.  I know how easy it is to get caught up in everyday life and before you know it another week has passed by and you have forgotten to look after yourself.  Schedule in time that works for you and use whatever approaches bring about balance, peace and harmony within you.

What ways do you use to self heal?

Welcome to Golden Oak Therapies

I hope to bring you thoughts, musings and ideas regarding energy work and healing.  My two areas of particular interest are Reiki and Emotional Freedom Technique or Tapping although I am currently doing a two year apprenticeship in Shamanic Healing.

I am by no means an expert and am constantly learning and gathering further understandings from many different places and sources.

I would be delighted if you feel able to join in and share your own knowledge and experience of energy healing so we can all learn from each other.