Change – getting on track

Change – the important bits to succeed!

In the last blog we talked about some of the major blocks that can easily get in the way of making the changes we want.

When we want to add or take away something in our lives it requires persistence, determination, consistency and a deep sense of knowing why this is important to you.  We also need a willingness to welcome failure as a way of learning.  All “successful” people have some time or another failed and it is what they have learnt from the experience that has made them succeed.  As the saying goes – “there is no such thing as failure, only feedback” and failure is only as you perceive it.

Here are some of my ways of bringing about change:-

  • Focus on what you will be gaining – what will you feel/be/have and what impact will that have on your life?  Write down how this change will benefit you in everyday life eg be able to play in the park with  children/grandchildren,  lose weight to have enough energy to walk to work, save x amount a month in order to go on holiday next year etc
  • Write your goal down or make a picture of it and put it somewhere where you can see it everyday. 
  • Don’t just think or decide how you want things differently – start doing it.  It is so easy to live your life in your head but change will only happen if you do something different.
  • It’s been said many times but make change happen with small and achievable steps.  Even if   doing that change is just for that hour or day – you have gone forward.  Build on your steps, recognise your effort, chart your progress and always keep in mind what you are gaining.
  • Let go of old hurts as the world has already moved on “When you forgive, you no way change the past – but you sure do change the future” A Cope & G Oates
  • Choose your attitude towards change – see it as a challenge, interesting rather than hard work, difficult. The language you use will affect your mood and approach.
  • What strategies have worked in the past when you have brought about change in your life? – employ them again. 
  • Share what you want to happen with others and ask for their help in supporting steps towards achievement.  This is the main one that works for me as the more I talk about it the harder it is for me to give up – pride takes over!
  • Act the person you want to be. The saying “fake it till you make it” helps to imprint into your physiology how you feel, stand, walk, talk – you become comfortable with this new way of being and will attract into your life what you need to achieve your aim.
  • Remind yourself and answer these four powerful questions to keep you on track.
  • Turn  obstacles into problems to be solved rather than seeing them as an excuse to give up.

Whatever strategies you use, keep going, be flexible, adapt and have a firm belief in yourself  – you know what difference it will make to your life.  If you need a bit of a support or “push” to get you going, you are welcome to book an Insight session with me.

Barriers to Change

We all change throughout our lives either by design or fault.  We develop and grow as we go through our ages and during our lives experiences bring events that can have significant impacts.

This kind of change will happen subconsciously and without any planning or forethought.  That’s not to say we don’t have any choice, we may not be able to control the circumstances but we can make choices how we choose to respond, learn, process the event.

The change that seems to be the most challenging to bring about is the change that we consciously decide to make.  It’s often a behaviour – a way of eating, thinking, reacting.

We can start off with good intentions, have a goal in mind, spend money to achieve it, plan the first few steps and then it tends to dissipate.  It becomes too hard, too costly, too time consuming so it’s easier to just let it drift and to try again another time.

So what are the barriers that get in the way?

Values

Is your desire to change truly important to you?  Change is more likely to occur when you really know why it is important – 90% of success is knowing why it is important, 10% is knowing how to go about achieving it. The importance goes beyond material gains and links into your values.  Values are what motivate, they are part of the essence of who we are, what connects us to others.  They are our hidden priorities.

Here are some examples of values:-

Love, peace, wealth, success, adventure, fun, happiness, security, intimacy, autonomy, altruism.

If your goal of change doesn’t link in with your values then it is more likely not to be achieved.

Motivation

Truly how motivated are you to succeed – a 100% or about 75%? Again the degree of motivation will be reinforced by knowing why this is important to you and what you will gain/have/receive/feel from the end result.

However you need to use the best motivating strategy for yourself.  Are you somebody that sees the end goal, plans the steps in between and then heads off in that direction – the TOWARDS motivation?

Or do you wait until it becomes so uncomfortable before you take action, the AWAY motivation?  Neither is better than the other, you just need to know what works for you.  Look back on past experiences of achievement and identify the key aspects that made it possible and apply them again.

Internal Thoughts

In the book Shine by Andy Cope and Gavin Oates they talk about your inner Jeeves.  A faithful servant, who has been with you for many years, knows you very well and has only your wellbeing in mind.  Your inner Jeeves believes that any change from your norm is just another “New Year’s resolution” that will be broken in a few day and then you can get back to normal again.  These are your own inner thoughts and beliefs that very happily get you back to your status quo.

So with three major hurdles to overcome, it is a challenge, hard work, personal effort to make the significant changes you so desire – however the starting point is  awareness and insight.

Take time to recognise and acknowledge these barriers and in the next blog I show you how you can maximise your success.  Or in the meantime book a complimentary Insight session to discuss your own challenges to change.

goals

Goals – where next for 2019?

As we start the New Year does it leave you feeling energised and excited about the months ahead or flat and unmotivated?

The date of 1st January is irrelevant as it only represents the limitations of time that we have put in place.  However there is something to be said about having ideas of what you want to get out of life.  At times it may be okay to go with the flow and drift through life although there is a danger that others will then influence your choices.

When we set out our own aspirations, dreams and goals then we are more likely to achieve them.  It has been proven that if you write out or share your goals then success of reaching your goal is greatly increased.

Just keeping a thought in your mind is probably not going to be enough; action needs to happen along with support and encouragement from others.  It is easy to get side tracked by internal doubts and worries and these can be used as an excuse to either not get started or to give up on your dreams.  As explained in my video here – when we reach the end of our life it will be the things that we haven’t done that we will regret.

There are several ways to help support the first part your achievement.  Write them down and put them somewhere that you can see them every day.  Instead of writing, depict your aspirations visually in a vision board placing it as a screen saver or a poster.

If you are not sure what you want to do you may like to do this exercise of listing what you want/have/don’t want and don’t have by using this template.  Once you have completed the columns turn the “don’t want” into what do you want instead?  This will help you to start identifying your goals.

Create a Be/Do/Have list – without judgement or preconceptions keep adding to your list over a few weeks.  Are there any themes?  Is there something in there that you have always wanted to do?

Are you somebody that starts and then gets stuck?  Remind yourself why this goal is really important to you – what are you going to gain from it, how is it going to affect your life?  Remember 90% of achieving goals is knowing why it is important to you, 10% is how you will achieve it. If you are a champion procrastinator lean how to use EFT or Tapping to break down those blocks.

These are just a few suggestions that will help you get on your way of creating a year that you can look back on with pride, contentment, enjoyment and satisfaction.

Have an adventurous, exciting, fun-filled and challenging 2019!