We are responsible for our own self-care! Maybe we feel that others should be looking after us but ultimately we are the ones best placed to give ourselves kindness, care and compassion. As we face upto the many challenges that we currently find ourselves now more than ever we need to find ways of being kind to ourselves. It is not enough to just say in your mind “I need to be kind to myself” if you don’t take any action.
When I was an Occupational Therapist I supported and worked with people to promote their independence in all areas of their life. This included work, relationships, interests and self-care. This may have been physically care but it was also care in a way that recognized strengths, appreciated abilities and fostered kindness to that person after a illness.
It can be easier to receive kindness, love and care from others than to do so for ourselves – maybe we feel we don’t deserve it or we’re not important enough to matter. The deeper truth is that we are incredibly important to ourselves first and then to others.
How often do we make allowances for others but not ourselves? Do we forgive ourselves? The challenge is breaking out of an identity that can keep us stuck in an old story or beliefs that devalue us.
Self care comes at all different levels. How often have you made mistakes? I certainly have! How we react and handle the mistakes we make tells us how kind we are to ourselves. Everyone makes mistakes and if it didn’t happen then there would be no development, no growth no motivation to seek out alternative ways. Approach mistakes with curiosity and receptivity – ask:-
- what led you to that behaviour?
- what can you learn from it?
- how much was under your control?
- would you do it differently next time?
By turning to face yourself and your behaviour with compassion is an act of self-love and self-care.
The inner critic that takes up residence inside our minds is just part of an old and very well worn identity. It’s an old yet familiar story that we keep repeating and so it becomes stronger. What if you could start making a new story about yourself? A new reality that celebrates your skill, desires, talents and strengths feeds into giving yourself kindness and self care. See your world from a new perspective – a view of understanding, kindness and compassion – how different would that make you feel?
As Wayne Dyer says ”Remind yourself that you cannot fail at being yourself”.
When we know we cannot fail then let’s give ourselves permission to give massive self care and self love – we have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
If you feel in need of support to challenge and breakthrough some of the things that may be holding you back in this area of self love please feel free to book a complimentary Insight session or contact me on how we can work together.